# 2 - The List - 14 Areas for Personal Growth in 2023

Welcome back to The Roads Untraveled! If you missed the first blog post, click here to check it out! You will definitely want to read that one before moving on. I’ve actually gotten quite a few messages saying that they were excited for when the second post - “The List - 14 Areas for Personal Growth” - would be coming out, so here we go!

First of all, let me just say that it has taken me a long time to write this particular post. Much longer than anticipated. Why? It is not just “content” creation. It is my real life in real-time. The first blog post took you through the last 2-3 years of my life at warp speed. Summed up in a few words, it was tragedy, overwhelm and a loss of systems in almost every aspect of my life. This particular post will take you through a bit of the present. In short, I’ve been working on identifying what kind of change and personal growth I want to see in my life - with at least enough clarity to begin to articulate it in written words. It wasn’t until I had written this post to the end and was reading it out loud to my husband that I was able to finally circle back around and have the lucidity to write this intro - to realize that the growth and the change I am seeking…starts with me. On the inside.

This entire blog is being written from my experience and my point of view. It is about self-development and continuously working to become the best version of "me" that I can be. It’s about working through the hard stuff and finding grace, mercy and silver linings. It is about finding my own bearings and setting the course for the rest of my time on this earth. It is about envisioning the type of life that I want and consciously, intentionally taking actions, big and small, that will propel me toward that vision. This blog and the journey of this year is not niched down nicely into one perfect little topic, written for algorithms and SEO. Instead, it’s about many things - experiencing motherhood, raising children, being a wife, being a business owner, a woman, a creator, a mentor, a daughter, a sister and a friend. The central theme in all of these roles… is me. A human being with core values and a desire for consciousness, well-being and intention. It’s about doing life and trying to find a rhythm in it all.

So, let’s quickly answer this question - What is it that I want? I want to live a life that I love. I want organization and systems that work for the season of life that I’m in. I want to experience clarity, joy, mindfulness and being present in the moment - not stressed, scattered or with scrambled eggs for brains. I want to remember the childhood of my children instead of it becoming a blur surrounded by so many things that ultimately don’t matter. I want to actively participate in my life every day and not get stuck on the wheel of the humdrum. I want to be helpful, to show compassion and to extend mercy and understanding. I want to remember that everyone has their own unique perspective based on their history of experiences. I want to allow myself to become new things and to continue learning for my whole life. I want to be an example of true love - for my children, for my husband, for myself and for others. Oh, and the village - I want to continue building that village that we know we all need ❤️.

Why am I paying very special attention to this for the next year? I want to see how consciousness, intention and action can affect the course of one’s life. I want to experience it on a very real, personal level. I want to deposit the very best of me into my children and, to do that, I have to work hard to develop myself into the "me" that I want to be.❤️

That is what has brought me here - to the creation of the “The List” - born out of a need for clarity after tragedy and hardship and something that will continue to grow out of curiosity and a deep desire for authenticity and honesty from myself. The list is living and it is fluid. It has the freedom to change and morph as I grow. I am truly honored and humbled to be walking out this journey and I hope that it inspires you to look within yourself - no matter your age, gender, nationality, political affiliation, religion or life experience. To examine. To reflect. To set your course for wherever it is that you want to go with whatever time it is that you have left in this life. I hope that this list brings you laughter, encouragement and a voice that tells you that you are not alone. There has to be a way to find rhythms that work - a way to build a life that values our children, our relationships, our health, our mental well-being, our time, our career and our experiences. This year, I will be paying very close attention to the things that are important and continually reassessing what those things are. I have my hypotheses about what I will learn, but that is an entire post by itself!

Without further ado, this is “The List”! These are the intentions for myself and my family this year. I am fairly certain that you will find something here that resonates with you in some way. Please leave me a comment - I’d love to hear what you take away from all of this!

Ok! Ready!

1. Core values - Identify them.

How often do people take time to sit down and write out a list of their core values? You know - the basic fundamentals that you live by and the things that are most important to you. I’m already working on this, but I will continue identifying what these things are and making sure that my actions every day fall in line with my own values - not society's expectations or someone else’s.

2. Relationships and Connections - Invest in the ones I have and grow the ones I don’t.

This year, I will purposefully make more deposits of time and effort into the relationships that are meaningful to me - the ones I have and the ones I want to have. It is often easy to have time hijacked by things that seem important, but then you realize that some of those things didn’t actually matter very much. I am better at this now, realizing that time is the currency of life on this earth and I am more deliberately deciding how to spend it. This one requires conscious thought and taking action on things that make someone else feel special, seen, thought about and loved. It doesn’t have to be in Grand Canyon-sized gestures. It truly is about taking a bit of your time - your most precious asset - and connecting with someone. In the days and weeks to come, I will come back and put a link here with examples and ideas in case you want to jump on this bandwagon with me, but you need a little inspiration to get going!

3. Physical activity - Get “functionally fit.”

Why didn’t I just say exercise? Well, that’s not it, actually. It’s not about that smoldering, sexy beach body. It’s way more than that. This year, I will consciously make more opportunities to move in ways that are good for my body, but also for my mind and my soul. For me, this means activities that serve multiple purposes and fit within this beautiful phase of my life with small children. I want to do fun things that bring joy while showing them an example of how to care for their bodies. You only have one, so for me, the value of taking care of that one is high. I love my body - it has given me the 3 most precious gifts of my life and is carrying my spirit through this world. It may not look exactly the “same as before,” but I don’t care about that. I don’t. What I want is to be healthy. To be strong. To have the endurance to play basketball with my kids, not just watch. I want to go to a dance class and bring them with me. I want to be strong enough to hike through miles of nature trails with my baby in the backpack. I want to stand on my paddle board and ride my kids around the ocean shallows, paddle the kayak down the river and do a flip at the trampoline park without pulling something in my back! (That one actually happened and I’m done with that. Momma needs to stretch next time! 😂) I’m calling it…"get functionally fit!”

Paddleboarding fun!

4. Declutter, Organize and Simplify - Gain clarity and time.

Does anyone else have or remember having a home where legos and little blocks were like landmines, threatening to take you out in the dark when you’re just trying to get out of bed to go pee? They will drop a grown man - just ask my husband! Who needs night security? Just throw down some magna-tiles, a scooter and some crayons - it will disarm and take out a perp before your eyes could even flutter open.😂 In all honesty, it’s just us in a small house that we love, each one of us with our things, and a little issue with effective organization. This year, we will declutter what is here - in closets, on surfaces, in bins, in the shed, etc. Once we have decreased down to only what we want to take up space in our lives, we will organize it and implement systems that are sustainable for keeping our living space what we want it to be - a place where we can continue to have beautiful experiences with our family…without the threat of a closet landslide.

Oh! Digital clutter falls under this area as well! Does anyone else have bazillions of photos and videos, waiting to be printed or made into a video or a Christmas blanket? Yep, me too. Just wait until I get my hands on these! The possibilities! First, I need to do a little research and find the best ways to preserve and organize them. Do I have any photographer friends with advice or resources on the best way to organize and preserve these precious memories?

Overall, the real goal is to decrease the clutter and the noise of life so that we can truly focus on what is important.

5. Nutrition - Invest in health.

This one is really simple. I value my health and the health of my family. I want to take care of all of our bodies so that they can take care of us! It is and will remain one of my top priorities to eat fresh, whole foods and teach my children to eat a variety of “colors.” I’m challenging myself to try new things, new recipes and new foods. No, I’m not going full-on vegan, but man, some of those plant-based recipes that are being shared now look AMAZING! (I even bought a Vitamix!) I’m also trying not to demonize sugar and instead teach my children the value of nutritious food and moderation because, let’s face it, our society makes it almost impossible to balance the sugar issue in the way I’d like. Unless you live on a remote farm in the middle of nowhere, it is difficult to escape the influence of commercials, billboards, school, birthday parties, etc. All around us, there is less emphasis on fresh food and much more on convenient foods and treat foods. I want my children to learn the skills to balance, reason and advocate for their own bodies. This year, we will continue to grow our little suburban food forest at home. We will continue going to the grocery store and farmer’s markets together as a family so they can experience shopping for their food and choosing the things that naturally interest them. We will also bring them to the local farms, so they have multiple avenues of learning the association between our earth and our food. This is actually a great segue into to the next topic…

Cherry tomatoes growing in our front yard.

6. Mother Earth - Sustainability AND Regeneration.

Notice in the previous topic above, I said “our earth.” I believe that we are all stewards of our beautiful planet. It takes care of us and we need to do better at our part of that symbiotic relationship. Whether you believe in the current models of climate change that say changes are happening at a rapid pace and our current way of living is unsustainable or just that we, as a nation, consume too much and create too much waste, I think we could all agree that we could do so much better…and it would be better for us AND the planet. There is really no downside to that. Hopefully, governments around the world will continue to work together, but I want to contribute on an individual level. This year, we will continue trying to decrease our waste and make more conscious decisions about what and how we buy. We already compost our food scraps in our worm bin and I just bought these dryer balls to use in the dryer instead of dryer sheets. My challenge now will be keeping them inside the dryer and out of the toy bin!

There is just so much that I could add under this topic, but mostly, I want to raise our children to be conscious of the earth and what is happening all around them. A person may be ignorant about something for a time, but once you are no longer ignorant, you must, in some way, become part of the solution. We are all connected and the first step forward is awareness.

Our red wriggler worm friends from our SubPod composter. Bye-bye food waste, hello compost!

7. Gardening - Grow nutrient-dense food and absorb all the life lessons learned in the garden.

When the COVID pandemic hit, we were mostly confined to our home. The result - a front yard food forest of sorts! The content list is long and we have continued to reap the bounty since that time. We’ve made juice and smoothies with the moringa from our tree. We’ve picked the blueberries, blackberries and mulberries and ate them right where we stood. We’ve harvested tons of mangos and just got our first three Oro Negro avocados this year. We planted one dwarf banana tree that has since turned into 10 - two of which had stalks of bananas earlier this year and one growing now. The orange tree hasn’t produced fruit - only swallowtail butterflies - and they are the only reason I’ve not cut it down yet due to those blasted giant thorns! The guava tree has produced so many guavas that, last summer, I didn’t want to see even ONE more of them at the end of the season! I think I made jelly for days! When you walked into my house, though, it was like walking into Colombia - the smell of guava always brings me back! Truly, it was glorious! The passion fruit vine…I do believe that is where my daughter learned to count as we picked them up every morning and made lots and lots of juice! We planted sweet peppers and tomatoes, but we rarely got to eat them because that barefooted, crazy-haired baby girl always helped herself when she walked by, which I loved. The yard-long beans were amazing…I’d never seen a 3-foot long bean before! The cucumbers…well, those were not as successful. After all of the prep and care, we got the two most expensive cucumbers ever - one from each plant. They were delicious, though! Last but not least, the cinnamon basil. This is the favorite herb of the whole garden! There was chocolate mint, thyme, lemon balm and rosemary, too, but oh the cinnamon basil! If you’ve never made your own lemonade with limes and cinnamon basil, you are missing out on something incredible! Add strawberries and a little agave and ooh-la-la... fancy deliciousness!! (I will come back later and link a “how-to” recipe here.) You know, people always tell me “You must have tons of time on your hands to manage such a garden!” In fact, it is just the opposite! We tried to create it in such a way that it requires little ongoing maintenance. That is the whole concept behind a food forest. It isn’t a perfect one by the food forest standards, but for us, it was the result of such a special time together and something that we all continue to benefit from. This year, we want to continue adding more vegetables and something in the backyard - I mentioned chickens, but my husband looked at me like I had three heads! I bet he is regretting that now with the soaring price of eggs! Ha! In all honestly, we don’t need one more thing to keep alive - the fish in the fish tank are my limit. 😂 Our garden has brought us so much joy, tons of fresh food and an outdoor experience that is wonderful in so many ways! The kids even love gathering the food scraps to “feed the worms” in our underground SubPod composter. I think it’s true that many life lessons can be learned in a garden and I can’t wait to see what this year holds for those barefooted little ones as they meander through the magic that is our yard. And the weeds. Man, maybe I should have just simply written that in this section - “I will pull weeds!” 😂

8. Personal Development - Continue learning new things.

I would describe myself as a lifelong learner. I love the thought of brushing up on old skills and learning completely new ones. In recent years, I’ve been on a roller coaster ride of learning new skills, especially since becoming a mother and continuing as a business owner. Some came easy and others came with a great deal of effort. This year, my goal is to read more and take some courses that I’ve been thinking about. The challenge is time and balance. I want to be more intentional about how I spend my time to make sure I’m spending it on the things that I intend to. Currently, I have about 24 books that I want to read. 😳 Did I mention that I’m also a perpetual optimist?!?! 😂 Can anyone else relate?

Just a few of the books on my list:)

9. Music - Learn to play a song on the guitar for fun!

Music is a powerful, magical combination of things that have immeasurable value. One of those values is that it can be an outlet, a form of expression. I think, to some degree, I’ve always had an interest in playing the guitar. I am acutely aware that this may not be an easy season of life to pick up playing an instrument, but I also find great value in pursuing things that bring you joy - and teaching your children how to do the same. This year, I will go from knowing squat about a guitar to playing at least one song that I love. Don’t fret!😂 I can do it. I’m a quick learner. (Piano, you are in my sites, but that one is definitely for another season. Probably. Maybe. We’ll see what door opens. It could be next week 😂 Carpe Diem! )

10. Language - Good gracious, girl! Learn that Spanish!

I’ve always been interested in other languages. I don’t know why I’ve always felt drawn to learn more, but it's always been there. Always, even from a very young age. Fast forward and then I married this handsome Colombian and had three beautiful babies. This year, I will get a better grasp on my Spanish. It is important to me that we pass down both languages - English and Spanish. Then… it is on to Italian or French. I can’t decide. Italian is closer to Spanish, so it might be a bit easier, but my family on my mom’s side is French. I kinda feel like I should pick that language back up as an homage to my family oldies. My only problem is that I have nobody to speak French with! We will see what happens. I’m getting WAYYY ahead of myself! The main goal here is to finish learning Spanish. It’s about that time! (Turn up the Lizzo song if you know which one I mean!)

11. Genealogy and Family History - Discover and create my story.

Do you ever wish you could hear someone tell you a story just one more time? Do you ever wish you knew what jobs your ancestors did or how they spoke? Do you ever think about who you might look like? I do! I think knowing and sharing your family history with your children can give them a sense of excitement and belonging. This year, I will record stories for my children. Stories from family members, from me and my husband and even from my children themselves. I want to continue the treasure hunt of working on my family trees and creating something to pass down to future generations. You never know…there may be someone like me, several generations from now, that finds my journals and feels like they are on the best kind of treasure hunt! Haha!🤣 Honestly, though, you truly never get to know the ripple effect that your life leaves on others. You can only try to make it a good one❤️

Hey, you know what, though? What if family history interests you, but you don’t know your family background or you don’t like it - that’s okay! You are your own author, the creator of your own life’s story. You can create your own traditions and stories to pass down! You can also be the one that changes things and breaks cycles for generations to come. You can’t control the past, but you, just one person, have a certain effect on the future❤️ Choose what you want that to be.

12. Self Care - Find what fills my tank and then do it.

This one often comes laden with “mom guilt” and historical ways of thinking. Moms shouldn’t always eat last, cold or sometimes not at all. She shouldn’t go to bed at night, collapsing from sheer exhaustion, an empty shell of herself that has given everything she had that day to everyone else. No ma’am. Not without some sense of how her tank is going to be refilled. Don’t get me wrong - there are plenty of days where you are completely drained and exhausted - that alone isn’t the problem. It’s the thinking behind self-care and the lies we’ve come to believe. Self-care is not something you need to work yourself to the bone to “earn.” It is not selfishness. It is necessary. For me, this concept started to take hold when my first baby was born. He was exclusively breastfed, which was important to me and I was fortunate to be able to do it. I learned that I had to be consistent and mindful about how I cared for myself or it would affect my milk supply. I had to eat and drink and rest - the best that anyone can with a newborn. With my second, I did the same, but I found myself mentally struggling with the balance between home and work life. I was telling myself that I could do all that I needed to and expected myself to give 100% to everything. I’ve since come to realize that is impossible and that having clear priorities and boundaries is important. My youngest baby is now 21 months old and guess what? Sometimes I still struggle with how to strike the right balance on a daily basis. There is no one-size-fits-all answer and just when you feel like you are getting it right, things change again! I am still learning who I am, how I operate and what makes me the best version of myself - so that I can show up as that girl more often than not and be the best I can be for my family. This year, I will continue practicing grace toward myself and also toward others. I don’t want to be the mom that talks about other moms and the way she does or doesn’t do things. I want to be the one that says “Hey, how can I help?”

13. Reflection and Enjoyment - Make it a priority.

No matter if it is the implementation of a new morning routine, sitting and taking in a new place or just taking the time to process the day, I will be taking more time to reflect. Part of this is gratitude - taking time to bring to my consciousness the things in my life that I am truly grateful for. Part of it is making it possible for my mind to take things in and actually process them - seeing how they align with my core values. You know what? I want to remember my life. I don’t want it zooming past at warp speed because it is so stuffed with things - most of which will not matter. I want my children to remember that I didn’t just raise them, but that I ENJOYED them. That I was present. I want to calm the outside noise and not pull them up into “my” world, but instead, join them in the world that we all share. I want to bask with them in the magic that is their childhood and remind myself that adulthood doesn’t have to be that different. After all, adults are just grown children. The real magic of childhood isn’t in the pretend or the manufactured - it is inside of all of us. It is in experience, in curiosity, in learning. We just might need a little practice to find it again. If you can’t find it, just watch a child - they’ll show you how😉.

14. Career - Be prepared and open to new opportunities.

By career, I am an Occupational Therapist. By niche, I am a hand and upper extremity specialist - they call us “hand therapists.” I spent 11 years in direct practice in that particular area - putting people back together, their injuries and their spirits. Now, I’m an administrator and I work from home. Being a mother of children ages 6, 3, and 1 is my life’s most sacred work and intertwining that with a career and other interests is like art. Everyone’s masterpiece is different and, daily, I am working on mine. I won’t deny the challenge of trying to find rhythms that work - but I am grateful and I’m excited for continued learning and the new roads I’ll be traveling down. With a much higher awareness of my core values and with a passionate desire to truly live this life, I will be looking at things a lot differently in this area.

Let me finish with this - this is not a race to a proverbial finish line at the end of the year. Most of this will continue past that mark - of course - and will have a lasting, cumulative effect. The year timeframe is just to mark a small subset of time in my life so that I may look back and examine the effect of intention. That is the science lover in me. I want this to be a true and authentic experience that just brings more color to a life already loved. I want to experience it, digest it and write it down the best that I can - that is the author in me. I want to see what the fire looks like when intention and action ignite. That is the curiosity in me. I want to brush away the dust that gathers on the desires of one's heart and to show that you are not alone. Your desires may be different from mine, but in sharing our joys and pains and everything in between, I think we will all realize that we have been blessed with the gift of life and we weren’t meant to do it alone. As I continue sharing my journey with you, I am also sending you encouragement, support and lots of love as you walk out your own personal growth journey, wherever you are along the way. Best of luck and well wishes to you as you discover the roads that you don’t want to leave untraveled.

XOXO,

Adrienne

Please continue to join me, if you like, as I navigate this year. Maybe you’ll find something that you relate to! If you do, drop a comment below! I’d love to know what you’re working on! Please also check out The Roads Untraveled Facebook page and follow along on Instagram @the.roads.untraveled for inspiration, encouragement and a little humor!